Here is a question I received on one of the "Ask The Lawyer" websites that I contribute to, and my response. I have seen at least 20 variations of this question. Maybe you can picture the steam coming out of my ears. I hope this young mother is listening, because she can do a hell of a lot better for her kid. She should NOT let her dead-beat husband off the hook. It may get him out of her life, but it will leave her and her child struggling to survive.
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LEGAL AREA: CHILD CUSTODY
STATE: NEW JERSEY
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Question: Do I have to sit in front of a judge to get custody of my child and how long does this take to do?
Question Detail: I have a 5 year-old. I have full custody and placement. The father doesn't see her or call her and would like to sign off all of his rights. Does someone else have to sign on, or can it be just given to me? And do I have to sit in front of a judge to do this? How long does this take to do? He said he'll only do it if he doesn't have to pay child support which he will only pay for 1 year, when she will be 6 years old. We should be divorced in 4 months; he and I split when she was just 1 month old.
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ATTORNEY RESPONSE:
You are doing this all wrong. You duty, your obligation is to do what helps your child, not what is easy for you.
A few basics:
1. You raise that child, and give her the best life you can. That is what parents must do.
2. He is the father, the parent of that child. He also MUST follow rule #1. This means:
3. He pays child support, period. No discussion.
4. No pay? Go to jail. And stay there. Then get out and work to support that child.
5. He has no job? Get a job. If not, see rule #4.
6. YOU do NOT let go of his duty to pay child support, because doing that would make your child's life worse. See rule #1.
That child deserves a lot better father than this idiot. But at least he can pay for money to help you buy the things that his child (your child) needs for a good life.
Got all that? Good. now take him to court, get a court order and make him pay to support the child that he brought into the world.
Maybe he will even become real man, and become a father to that child.
============================================================
LEGAL AREA: CHILD CUSTODY
STATE: NEW JERSEY
-------------------------------------------------------
Question: Do I have to sit in front of a judge to get custody of my child and how long does this take to do?
Question Detail: I have a 5 year-old. I have full custody and placement. The father doesn't see her or call her and would like to sign off all of his rights. Does someone else have to sign on, or can it be just given to me? And do I have to sit in front of a judge to do this? How long does this take to do? He said he'll only do it if he doesn't have to pay child support which he will only pay for 1 year, when she will be 6 years old. We should be divorced in 4 months; he and I split when she was just 1 month old.
-------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY RESPONSE:
You are doing this all wrong. You duty, your obligation is to do what helps your child, not what is easy for you.
A few basics:
1. You raise that child, and give her the best life you can. That is what parents must do.
2. He is the father, the parent of that child. He also MUST follow rule #1. This means:
3. He pays child support, period. No discussion.
4. No pay? Go to jail. And stay there. Then get out and work to support that child.
5. He has no job? Get a job. If not, see rule #4.
6. YOU do NOT let go of his duty to pay child support, because doing that would make your child's life worse. See rule #1.
That child deserves a lot better father than this idiot. But at least he can pay for money to help you buy the things that his child (your child) needs for a good life.
Got all that? Good. now take him to court, get a court order and make him pay to support the child that he brought into the world.
Maybe he will even become real man, and become a father to that child.
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